Model Minority (bull shit)

They come at me like,

“Oh you know how it’s like for them!”

“You mean how it’s like for us?”

They forget just cuz you put me in a separate category,

You, being divisive, compartmentalizing struggle,

And saying, “cuz we all struggle in life,

But I yell BS

Slap the cards down,

Let’s all show our cards,

But you separate,

Why?

Cuz you’re scared that if we compare notes,

Our experiences,

We’d know what you’ve been doing to us this whole time?

Nah,

You’re fallacy is presuming we aren’t all more intelligent

Than the ghettos you create.

Sending monsters

Hood to hood?

But only you’re the ones wearing hoods

Disguised in euphemisms,

That only create division,

Cuz how do you keep you’re lies

If everyone speak the same language,

But you.

“Mommy, am I a black person?”“Why do you ask that?” I’m amazed at the sweetness and sincerity he’s asking me.“I want to be a black person because I don’t want to be a white person if they are bad.”“Baby, do you understand what that means? Do you understand the difference between a black person and a white person?”He shakes his head no.“Aww baby people are good and bad by their actions. Being white doesn’t make a person bad,”“And being black doesn’t mean you can’t be bad too?”“Yes baby, we can be all those things by how we act and treat others.Come here, let’s go have this conversation with Smores.”We walk over to the bedroom and I ask Clarence to ask Mars what he thinks.“Smores, am I a black person?”And I catch him up on our dialogue. We both look at one another with smiling and knowing the wisdom of this question.“Clary, well you are an Asian person, mommy is an Asian person, I’m a black person, your sub is a white person but we are all people.”“So my sub is a good person too…”“Yes Clary, we are all good people if we are kind and nice to each other,”Mars explains to him, “we are all human.”“Do you understand the difference of why you are Asian and Smores black and your teacher white?”He looks at me bright eyed, then shakes his head no.I look again at Smores and we are both in awe.“It just means where our ancestors, parents And grand parents come from, like Korea, or Africa, but we are also here in America.”But I love the fact that he doesn’t see race, and I look as his eyes grow heavy and he falls asleep just like that.Mars says, “I’ve seen Clarence just like this since the first day I met him and he said to me, ‘I like you,’ as he touched my face and looked at me big eyed and genuine. He just approached me and knew I was receiving him with love, but I knew he was special that he just came up to me when he just met me. He just feels the good energy.”I’m joyful. “honestly, I love that he doesn’t see race. He just sees we are all different shades of human. I want to just let him stay this pure a little longer.”“This is what I’ve always said. Racism is taught.”Mars and I have been quoting Clarence’s words from a couple weeks ago in our daily talks and jests.We were all sitting in the bedroom, each watching our own shows one evening and sharing what we found funny. Elijah and Mars next to him and I, myself, half dangling off the the bed with my head hanging to be near them sitting on the rug.Clarence just starts laughing out loud saying with amusement, “it’s kind of funny, but we all kind of look alike.” He laughs again so amused at his own epiphany, “But me and Smores, we look exactly alike.” He squeals with laughter at the revelation as Mars, Elijah, and I look at one another than start cracking up because it’s so real, and Mars exclaims laughing so happily, “Yes Clary, but me and you, we look EXACTLY alike!” And we all continue to laugh as I am bursting from heart to toe. “Yes Clarence!” I shout, “we do all kind of look alike, but you and Smores, you guys look Exactly alike.!”

Allegory of the Cave

I’ve been thinking a lot of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave recently.
Imagine prisoners tide up side by side in darkness placed in front of a blank stone wall. The prisoners can turn their heads nor move so that they can’t see one another. Behind them there is a fire and the captors have people walking in front of the fire with puppets so that it casts a shadow upon the wall the prisoners stare at. Any sounds and talk, these prisoners believe come from the shadows in the wall. This is the reality they live in and they have no knowledge of people or the captors behind them.
One day they are set free and have to crawl through a narrow tunnel to an opening into the outer world. When first reaching the outside they see the light of the sun and it’s blaring and painful because they’ve only known darkness their whole life. It hurts their eyes and burn their skin, so they retreat back into the comfort of their darkness into the only reality they’ve known their whole life, not understanding it’s been an illusion.
However a few realize there is something more outside and decide to go back into the light. Over time their eyes adjust and the sun feels good. They realize in that moment that the shadows they thought were real were only replications of what is real under the sun while some stay in the darkness, those who go outside can finally live free.
What I believe is the reality can hurt when you live in the comfort of illusion for so long, but eventually the light of reality is the only way to live a life beautiful and free.

allegoryofthecave #plato #reality #illusions #freedom #justiceforahmaudarbery

An excerpt

As a teen, I used to stare out my window and watch the few people walk by with a dog, a child, or just by themselves.

Sometimes I’d catch a flower of the Jacaranda tree float down almost magically placing itself amongst the trodden browned blooms stuck to the cement.

And if a walker stepped on it, my heart would break just a little that such a perfect bloom would become just like the rest, once beautiful and light now smeared with sticky sap turning brown, just like the rest.

Once I saw my best friend walking past with my other friend. They walked passed and didn’t stop to ask me out or say hi.

I felt nothing. A little relieved that I didn’t have to leave my place watching the world both still and alive.

God is Warm

Little Clary asks, “what does the word God mean?”

And I think, “hmmm well he’s the word of creation, the one who created everything.”

“But he’s not real right,” questions, “because I can’t see him?”

“Well he means to have faith. You can’t see God because it takes faith, like love, you can’t see love but you feel love right?”

“Why did God make you so warm? I can’t see you warm but I can feel you warm.”

And he speaks poetry to me in every word he says.

“Yes baby, it’s like feeling warm.”

I Rebel

You might say I broke some rules along the way,

But whose rules were they,

Yours or mine?

Were they man made, woman made, society made, or human made?

Did I fail to follow tradition,

Abandon custom,

And bow down to duty,

For the sake of what?

Your happiness?

Or was I following my heart all along?

I broke some rules along the way,

But failed to bend to break my own,

And I’ve come to the place I know I belong,

Because I would never break my own.

Toy Bear

I remember my yellow teddy bear that had a pocket with a battery operated beating heart. Something about that moment is so clear that I feel that the thing I seek most is that kind of contentment. Being completely satisfied with what I have in the moment. A little bit of that secret pocket to hide my heart but you can still feel it and hear it.

I want to not worry at all about what others think and not ask for any more abundance but be happy in this moment with the things I already have.

I plant the seed of support and love that will continually bring in stability and an abundance of time.

My Dear

My Dear,

The light you see in me,

Is a reflection of your light,

The beauty you seen in me,

Is a reflection of your beauty,

The strength you see in me,

Is from the strength you give,

And the love you feel from me,

Comes from the love you have in you.

Without you,

I am nothing but an image,

It’s you who makes me bright.