Excerpt “letters in the dark”

Love is sloppy messy beautiful madness.

I wish I could write a fuck You letter to everyone who painted a picture otherwise.

Why take out the angst and pain and have You fear it when that’s the part that makes it real.

And Malice isn’t always a good place.

But it’s a place.

Yet He’s numb because he still believes in fairy tales.

Pause

A sweet moment in the between times of falling in love and falling apart where action is subdued and one could hear the buzzing fly cutting the dead air humming silence.

The in Between of the inhalation and the exhalation,

That’s the moment you’ll find the treasure you seek that feels like the only thing that ever existed,

And as you exhale it will be gone but the faint memory of the possibilities will remain until you are either driven into madness,

Or surrender to the next breath.

Broken Arrow

I shot down each of my demons

And One by one laid clear my path,

I pulled one with the fletching torn,

As i stood face to face with a monstrous beast.

Without my arms I trembled

Eyes closed and cold sweat crawling zig zags down my cheek.

I died a hundred deaths before I opened my eyes

and saw before me

The beast quivering

eyes closed and beads of sweat.

I touched its shoulder

And the Eyes fluttered Open

My own eyes staring back

Holding a Broken arrow.

I died one hundred deaths

Before I opened my eyes.

Sagittarian Mama, Aquarian Child

Lying in bed with my 3 year old he says, “mommy because….. I love you forever.”

“You know what forever means?”

“Yeah because you’re always with me.”

“I love you forever and ever and ever.” But as I speak I think, well there’s a chance by circumstance I won’t be here forever, realistically thinking. “But Baby, what if I’m not here forever? What if maybe I am sent away one day?”

He stares into my eyes silent for some time. I stare back.

“Well then I will fly up and catch you. Yeah I will fly up and catch you and bring you back down so you will be with me forever.” He speaks with conviction.

“I love you baby Forever and ever!”

Porches

Pure Bliss

Slow mornings

Vanilla steamer

Cappuccino

Ficus Benjamina

Gentle sunlight

“How’s you cup.”

“Mmmmmmm”

Unfurled Hearts

Unfurled Hearts
Before we arrived at this place,

We lied still in the dank dark earth,

Waiting for that moment when you and I fell inline to cross paths. 

 From opposite ends we unfurled and stood in the thick of tall dark branches,

Until we found in each other a reflection that pushed them aside to let the light through. 

Creating hearts

Feet entwined,

Brows touching

Passing life 

Breath by breath 

Mouth to mouth.  

Transforming us to divine

Gods Immortal. 

Soul Dance 

Found an old free write from after Julian walkers dance tribe earlier this year. 
Soul Dance 
Dance from the soul,

The movements Wild.

Wild Woman,

Heart untethered,

Wild woman,

Dance to no beat! 

Move like fire

Ablaze from within,

Strike a match,

One flame,

One blaze!

Oh, we danced and in a moment, time stood still.

Everyone walked into church,

Shed their skin suit.

Walked into church and sign said, “leave your skin suit at the door. Remember to take it with you on your way out.”

Wild woman danced until the water spilled from our skin,

Peeling off the skin suit,

Spilled blood on the church floor 

Sacrificing oneself to be resurrected. 

Wild woman danced arms flying through the air and sweeping the dirt,

Leaped and flew and she danced to the wild man crying as he spun like the world,

All the feminine parts of his,

Sold. 

Then the music slowed down. 

I looked up. 

Everyone was frozen,

Some in another’s arms

And I walked from statue to statue and stared at the calcified suits,

A garden of statues and I gasped. 

I closed my eyes and began to move again.

Everyone moved again.

I had to leave the skin suit,

Stained upon the church floor,

Sinning in that way,

Walking out naked of my skin suit. 

#freewrite #streamofconscious #dance #soul #dancetribe #julianwalker #poem #poetry #church #yoga #love #poet