Child of the Night 

I’m a child of the night 

Pusher of dreams 

Mover of melodies or maladies 

Calamities and blasphemies 

With Sense of ease and on my knees 

I am a Child of the night 

I cannot please nor satiate 

The thirst in these nights of dirty deeds. 

Throat burning 

Room humming 

Mind running 

Eyes fluttering 

So I give in and do what I need

To keep me sane until I peak 

And the palpitations shake. 
Outside the birds twit 

And I collapse. 

I am the child of the night 

I give in. 

#nocturneineminor #chopin #insomniac #piano #poet #pianist #mistsakesandall 

At Midnight

Shhhhhhhhhwishhhhhhhh
Ssssshhhhhhhhh
BuZz
Clink, clank,
Yawn…
Bzzzzzz
Womp, womp, womp
“Ummmmm” he groans next to me.
And I stare and I wonder
Will I sleep next?
Or will I just lie here a little tired,
Complacent,
But with nothing to do but listen to the beat of the night.

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The “How Honest Am I to Myself About Myself?” Quiz

1. I care how people see me
A) not at all
B) a little bit, you’ll catch me look at
myself sometimes as I walk past
a mirror.
C) a lot, sometimes I study my face
in the mirror. I can be vain at
times.
D) I don’t feel comfortable
answering this question because
of what people might think of
me.
2. I like myself
A) a lot, so much that I’m always
happy and feel comfortable
saying anything because I only
have the best intentions.
B) I have good days and bad days.
There are days I feel good about
my place in life and all the people
around me, and then there are
those says I feel guilty for
doing something, like maybe
saying the wrong thing or not
saying anything at all when I
really wanted to say something.
C) It’s hard to say. I feel like I’m not
authentic and I worry and get
anxious and need to drown out
my head with white noise, but
I really want to like myself and
am currently trying to figure that
out.
D) not at all, I wish I was someone
else. Sometimes I daydream at
how great it would be if I had
So and so’s body, or so and
so’s job, or maybe even a
whole life switch. Though
I’m probably doomed to still
feel unhappy in that new
situation.
3) I love my partner
A) not at all I don’t have one. But I
I want one and am still on that
search for my Twin Flame.
B) I’m hanging on until someone
better comes along. He/she
annoys me sometimes, but I
guess it’s better than being
alone.
C) More than words. Um, yeah
(Smiling) “cricket, cricket..”
D) I’m in love with me and
perfectly content doing me.
4) My current occupation
A) Pays the bills. I don’t know what
I want to do. I question what my
talents and passion are, but I
definitely love taking time off
and buying stuff, I think.
B) Enjoy it, but it’s not my dream
job. Maybe I should go back to
school. I think culinary school
could be fun.
C) I die a little bit each day and curl
up in my bed contemplating
ways to quit.
D) absolutely and fulfilling my true
life passion. I feel completely
blessed. Pinch me! Haha j/k
But really thank you Universe.
Results
If you answered any of these questions, do you really feel like you need someone telling you the answer to who you really are? I mean, I am guilty of enjoying what some personality tests say, for the fun of it, unless they say something bad about me, in which case I dismiss it as nonsense. But then again I’m not sure I always answer honestly or how I want to believe I am, which is how I am, because that is how I act. Or sometimes I want to answer two or three of the choices, or somewhere In between because they don’t really have the right option for me. But if I’m honest with myself, I know who I am. I know the areas about myself where I need to work on, and the areas about myself I’m really happy about and have no problems with people seeing because I’m the type of person who stays up until 3am sometimes thinking these things and learned long ago to give up trying to sleep until I have it all jotted down. If I don’t, it will all be gone by tomorrow
morning.

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Insomnia

At Three in the morning, my bionic ears open to the hum of some machine somewhere in the house, followed by that piercing sharp stinging that comes in the stillness of the approach of dawn, yet soothed by soft breaths purring in and out. Moments like these are the reason I have altogether abandoned a ticking clock. When people ask, “How are you doing?” I respond, “Fine, I’m doing fine.” But then why does the time pass so quickly with my eyes open each night more frequently?
The mind stutters.
Then they are followed by blank laments that lack response,
And I lay here going a little mad until the roar of the first distant engine when the light begins to shine and I feel ready to put on my uniform disguised in solid, vibrant hues sans cape to change the world.
I teach, “Breathe! Make it so deep you feel the body spread open like a big red balloon floating almost above ground except for the tip
Of your very longest toe and feel the surge of life! Exhale it out and sink back down in relief.”
I sing,”Listen carefully to the vibrations of the earth before allowing the clutter of thoughts to close back in and drown out the chirping of early morning birds.”
I cry, “Be alive because we are alive! Take a moment to draw in the scent of any flower, such as daffodils which smell like earth!”
And, “Move your steps to the rhythm of that tune stuck in your head desperately pressing to be released from the wall that exists between the space where imagination stirs and place where the five senses snap you back into clarity.”
And thank God that there was once upon a time sense enough to really abandon the analogous ticking time because it makes all the difference in moments like these.

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