Finally sitting down in the still of the night where I can listen to the hum
Or buzz and hollow winds,
To soak in the emotional chaos of the day.
Sick for the first time in years,
I went into panic and prayed most of the day,
Making Plea’s with God as to why i’m not ready to go yet,
Rather over dramatically,
Thinking of all the projects,
The life that I’m still in the middle of which is nearing it’s integration.
The throbbing in my head and feeling that death was near,
Though it turns out it seems to be a sinus infection,
The revelations, even if death is not what it was,
Force us to see life in all it’s frailty and glory.
Honesty spills forth as a remedy because who wants to leave with unsaid words?
It will only make more work as spirits visiting those we have yet to be finished with.
Speaking all day to people in the past and future, miles and spaces away.
Teaching everything I know to my son just in case,
Even how to emergency contact the right people on my phone “Just in case”.
And now I chuckle because I am admitting that I can get a little crazy.
Worrisome and stressed.
Not always walking with grin
But humbled and chagrined.
And I am enjoying the silence.
The settling of the night that stirs with a slight sigh
Soothing away all that took place in that vast space in my head
That I can only compare to with the way I feel when gazing up
Towards an unobstructed blue sky.
And my biggest regret today is that I have yet to dip my feet into the ocean
On my Yoga classes on the beach
Because I keep myself so busy with running around trying to save someone
Or maybe it’s something I’m trying to save,
Like the dream of a little girl
Listening to stories of oysters being thrown back into the sea
To be saved so they can create beautiful pearls
That shimmer and sparkle to the eye.
But it was a most remarkable day,
I spoke with a friend who decided to transcend to the unfamiliar beyond
And it felt like the “sweet sorrow” of onions that has you crying with smiles.
The light of the world is bright and I am alive.
God bless everyone!