I picture Mother Earth
Smiling at peace,
With all her strong and robust human babies at ease,
As her fur and feather babies
could finally set back into their long forgotten homes,
Playing and feasting
on her sustenance as they please,
Her lungs clear of wheezin’,
The breeze clear of poison,
Her eyes closed this season,
As the human babies sit humbly wait in’.
Hear her voice?
“Go to sleep dear children,
You’ve been driving, and working,
Tromping and rampaging,
Going and going,
But be still a moment,
And let me get to my sleep in’,
Catch my breath, but believe me,
Cuz I’ve been giving you all that I have,
And my bones so tired,
And my heart so heavy,
And my mind so foggy,
I just need a minute,
Before you can come back to play.”
I have been shattered into a thousand pieces
And those who love puzzles have tried to piece me back together,
Each confident they made me whole,
Manipulating some of the pieces that wouldn’t fit and wedging them in to fill in the gaps,
Not realizing that each time I was taken apart,
That I couldn’t be the same.
And some pieces no longer belonged.
And it pained me to have someone mold me to their idea of completion.
When all I needed was to be received with holes, broken, and left over pieces.
I wish I could build a time machine and visit all those hideously damaged people who have murdered and killed.
I wish I could visit them as children and give them a hug and tell them they are loved and their superpower is to love.
I don’t know if that would have made a difference but i imagine it could just as much as I imagine I could be a super hero and build time machines one day.
I couldn’t sleep last night. I had one student tell me yesterday how horrible her balance was and I responded,” that’s ok, just take your time.” Which I feel is a very common response from a yoga teacher because we encourage students to accept their practice for where it is at and then Grow from there. However my student responds,”no it’s not ok, maybe.” And the actual reason that could be causing her difficulty balancing is a regrowth of a brain tumor. And I told her,”I will pray for you and hope for the best when your results come in.” We spoke more about how great a tool meditating and yoga is and all she can do is try not to worry until she knows the results, but I felt bad. I honestly don’t like some of the yoga language such as “let it go” and this idea that if we just put out positivity that is what we will receive. I do agree that there is away to find peace of mind through hardship, but it is usually difficult depending on the hardship. However, I decided after yesterday when a student tells me they had difficulty in something, rather than assume it’s because they are just learning and growing, I will ask, “what made it difficult” and go from there.
I stayed up late and read the chapter “the ugly duckling.” For “The Women Who Run With Wolves” and that hit home too, because painful experiences are real and we cannot just let it go or we will become apathetic, insensitive, or cycling the same mistakes. I meditated before my practice today and really focused on Compassion.
Compassion is acknowledging pain is real.
Then we agree to let that pain in so that we can work towards finding a way to heal the pain. Hatred and ignorance are real. We cannot live under a rock and not expect the world to destruct. We must allow ourselves to feel this sadness or anger and all the unpleasant emotions that are a part of life.
The dark side of the moon calms my call to move.
No more gravitational pulls drawn by the celestial night,
Though one day we will fly when the moon moves close enough for us each month,
When the wolf howls
Sending vibrations across the nations
Shaking our guts of calcified crystal baggage deposits.
With the mind calm like the tranquil waters reflecting the memory of the full moon,
I quiet the mind to focus on my intentions
Manifestations growing as the light radiates the night.
To first be honest and look with
Eyes so clear the spark warms through the lids,
No lies urged by fear
Finding modest humility,
To feel compassion and strength
And slow steps,
And to consciously move each finger, each limb, each word, each breath, each thought,
To accomplish each sentence laid down by myself,
And set into locomotion without seize.
Inhales drawn with yawns,
While expanding and stretching like shadows close to dusk.
Settling down to feel the secure red of the warming ground charging up toward the peak of the head as the darkness wanes and the light pulls me right back to reaching for the heavens.