The Beauty of Receiver

I’m finishing up my last three classes of the semester for my senior classes through Rio Hondo College. 

Yesterday and elderly Indian woman and her husband waited patiently to speak to me after class after speaking with several of the students who wanted to wish me well before we start again for he fall in two weeks. She came up to me, her eyes glazed with tears and told me, “you have made my dreams come true. Growing up in the Brahmin family as a girl, I always wanted to learn the sun salutations. All the boys and men went outside after morning prayers to practice Surya Namaskara, but I had to go into the kitchen to prepare meals with the women. Thank you so much for bringing me this gift!” And she gave me the most heartfelt hug, both of us in tears as her husband sat contentedly on a chair nodding the whole time with a smile on his face. I drove home crying happy tears at the blessings life brought me. 

Today wrapping up another senior class, both classes we focused on learning Surya Namaskar C so they can practice at home every morning without my assistance for the next two weeks before the next session starts again, another student came to me and asked for help with her shoulders and we did a little shoulder clock. She started tearing up telling me that her heart feels like it’s being pulled, but it was a happy feeling and I told her it can have that effect. She grabbed both my hands looking directly at me and told me, “I bless you every morning I wake up for bringing me this gift! You are an amazing teacher and thank you so much for everything you have taught me.” And she gave me the warmest hug and I told her thank you, again crying. Walking out of class I felt so full and shared the stories with a good friend, who told me that she feels blessed to have me in this world, and I have to say, I am the one blessed to have come across so many beautifully receptive and open people. I am reciprocating what I have learned from my teachers, whether they be yoga teachers, authors, philosophers, my children and my own students. In the past I have been received with sarcasm, skepticism, closed mindedness, and fear. It is worth so much to receive open and complete. 

Morning After Pill

     After an eventful weekend of sound healings, Reiki, storytelling, and shedding, I woke up and locked myself in the bathroom, sitting on the “potty” to cry in solitude. Whether it was the Capricorn Moon pulling emotional memories from the stories ingrained into the fine grooves of our skin, or it was merely pure coincidence, the three days of this full moon came with others, as well as myself, sharing stories of our ancestors and our own past. Some told their stories loud, and some just shared it with their presence, but the intensity of everyone’s want for healing was thick and heavy. 

     During ceremony as my sister Arvindjeet chanted, sang, and sent out vibrations in the beautiful way she does, I walked from person to person performing reiki, hovering my hands over head, heart, arms, belly…. and in some instances feeling my heart heavy with that deep kind of hurt that makes it burn in ones threat, some with that kind of love that makes your skin tingle, some sighs, shivers, and some with a sort of softening release. The aftermath is often heavy for me and it takes a couple days for me to process everything I felt, on top of my own healing. So I found myself seeking Solace away from my kids in the bathroom with the door locked, and basically pissing from my eyes, but I began to think back to something a friend said this weekend. “People’s stories are so rich with beauty, whether it’s painful or joyful,” resonating and I couldn’t help but laugh while fully clothed on the toilet thinking about how beautiful it all is, so much so that we are capable of feeling the immensity of the pain and love in the way we do, that it brings us to places such as ones of this weekend, sprawled on the floor amongst friends, family and strangers, singing, crying tears, laughing, sharing intentions, and letting someone wave hards all over their body,

Trusting, vulnerable, open. 

     I heard the romp of 4 little feet running towards my sacred sanctuary yelling, “mom! I need to swallow a pill! I figured it out! I think I can do it! Can you give me a pill to swallow?”

My eldest must have had an epiphany of sorts and I handed him a harmless turmeric gel cap. He ran to the kitchen and I hear, “ugh!” And a splatter of liquid hitting the floor and the little one squealing with laughter. “Never mind! That was gross!” He tried to chew it. And the little one said, “happy birthday!” 

“Who’s birthday is it?”

The elder responding, “there must be a billion people in this world so it’s someone’s birthday right? Or it’s a lot of people’s birthdays today!” And he smiled at this revelation, his teeth bright yellow from the turmeric. 

Soul Dance

Found an old free write from after Julian walkers dance tribe earlier this year. 
Soul Dance 
Dance from the soul,

The movements Wild.

Wild Woman,

Heart untethered,

Wild woman,

Dance to no beat! 

Move like fire

Ablaze from within,

Strike a match,

One flame,

One blaze!

Oh, we danced and in a moment, time stood still.

Everyone walked into church,

Shed their skin suit.

Walked into church and sign said, “leave your skin suit at the door. Remember to take it with you on your way out.”

Wild woman danced until the water spilled from our skin,

Peeling off the skin suit,

Spilled blood on the church floor 

Sacrificing oneself to be resurrected. 

Wild woman danced arms flying through the air and sweeping the dirt,

Leaped and flew and she danced to the wild man crying as he spun like the world,

All the feminine parts of his,

Sold. 

Then the music slowed down. 

I looked up. 

Everyone was frozen,

Some in another’s arms

And I walked from statue to statue and stared at the calcified suits,

A garden of statues and I gasped. 

I closed my eyes and began to move again.

Everyone moved again.

I had to leave the skin suit,

Stained upon the church floor,

Sinning in that way,

Walking out naked of my skin suit. 

#freewrite #streamofconscious #dance #soul #dancetribe #julianwalker #poem #poetry #church #yoga #love #poet

I Found My Bodhi Tree

I found my Bodhi Tree 

After class today @balancedlifecenters we had a short discussion about what yoga is. Yoga is not just postures and movement. It is a return to our home, the knowingness of connections and oneness, a return to that place we felt safe to just be without our defense mechanisms up that cause us to grow tight and tense over time physically and calculated and protecting our thoughts mentally. The process of this healing work can often be painful because we are returning back home often by walking through some of our old experiences and pains, but as one student said, “but it leaves us feeling good.” 

We can find yoga in a multitude of ways, Siddhartha found it meditating for 7 days under the bodhi tree which is translated as the tree of enlightenment or awakening. We walk our own path and must find our own path back and some of us are blessed to find the guides that help facilitate that journey, whether it be a guru, child, or even one who might bring out the darkness in us. 

Namaste to this journey of home. 

Pyramids

Egyptians, Mayans, Aztecs, 

Ancient civilizations,

Building perfect pyramids

As a collective 

Sacred and divine,

And we the evolved

Now call ruins.

 We have revolved,

Struggling to rebuild our own temple,

Born perfect,

On our own

Ruined,

What was sacred and divine. 

Generator, Operator, Destroyer

Me and my bean, we’ve seen things.

We’ve stared into each of our eyes so intently that we’ve seen God.

We do this for minutes and he doesn’t turn away.

I don’t turn away.

We just stare until our hairs rise and we giggle

Because I helped create him and he helped resurrect me. 

When I hum and he hums we breathe in the same things and we mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Until we smile because it feels good to be one sound.

And when he’s tired he curls up like a little bean, legs and arms tucked right on my lap with his ear by my chest,

I wrap my arms around him until our heart beats the same again and we return home,

Both of us a whisper who haunts gods dreams and lure him to play king of the forest,

Until we open our eyes and forget 

and 

repeat.

Bird Song

​​

Bird Song

Morning light and sweet treats,

Expanding wings in clear dreams 

Deep breath into floating feet,

Water flowing through my soul with ease. 

Moving to my birds songs

Mornings light 

Sweet treats

Clear dreams 

Soul at ease  

Flight in feet.
Weekend schedule:

@balancedlifecenters Saturday gentle yoga at 9:00 am

@oliveyogalb Subbing Sunday 8:00 am yin yang yoga and 10:00 am prana flow 

String Theory

My name echoed from every dimension of each universe,

Ripples rewinding into one defined point as Goddess conceived me into existence whispering my name, 

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah…..”
I am born again and again and again from that dark open space where thoughts form words to be spoken into vibration then into being as she plucks a string again and again whispering my name as a song made of pure sound and the reverberations sliding through the tight particles of each invisible filter of worlds back into that single point of light at the center of my universe. 

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah…”

I did not see, but hear myself born into being,

Perpetually formed. 

The sage priestess sweeping gold dust and broken glass from the remnants of a shattered hour glass onto a dustpan while guiding me to float in between the panes of universes to experience my creation. 
And each time I hear my name called,

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah….”

I remember. 

  

 

The Star

The Star

Consistently be the same person with every circle, connection, space, 

Plat•form 

In the hats you pair with the trade you share. 

Be able to trust 

And trust “Love is real,

Real is love.”

Always learning from the foil.

Telekinesis

“Mom, if you meditate a lot, can you move things?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Like move things with your mind.” He puts his hands by his temples and looks at me inquisitively. “Because my dad says if you start moving things with your mind, he wants to see it.” 

I laugh, “why? Did you tell your dad that meditating will teach you to move things with your mind?” I’m having an aha moment because I wondered why Elijah is more open to meditating and chanting than asana. 

“Yeah! And he says he wants to see it if you do. But can you? If you meditate a lot?”

“Well that is one belief and I think anything is possible.” And right at the moment, a huge container truck was slowly turning into a shopping plaza. Elijah was so occupied he didn’t see it and I raise both hands and say, “watch!” And he looks up at the road to see this huge container turning to block the road with the driver cab on the other side of the truck so it looked as if it was floating. His mouth drops and then laughs as the driver becomes visible. 

“Ha. You didn’t do that. It’s a truck!” And he’s still laughing for being fooled for a moment. 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t really trying to move the truck. I was trying to move you to laugh. We can move the heart, and we can move the energy. Are you feeling happier already?”

He laughs a different kind of laugh. “Yes.” He says smiling and content with that.