The Last Birthday Party

What if everything we work towards is planning our whole life for the end game. Each persons death is the final birthday party and so we make decisions to create or last birthday party. We live each year planning how intimate or how grand the ceremony will be. Whether we want a lover, children, dogs, friends… 

We would be living our life towards welcoming the last journey on earth and that is hope towards a new adventure as cycles on earth go. 

How much peace and love a world would have if the whole world spent each day living, working, dreaming, and manifesting that great birthday party. We would dance into the darkness to move into the purest, brightest light. 

A Lizard Named Jesus

Before leaving for our road trip to Arizona, I found that a small baby lizard got stuck in a coffee pot I had out to use as a planter.  I completely forgot to let it free and it weighed on me through parts of the trip when the sun beat down on me. 

Upon arriving home I cringed to see a small stiff body, but to my surprise it was alive. 

Sadistically I kept it as a pet because I kind of fell in love with the little booger and fed it crickets and kept filling it’s water bowl. Elijah fell in love with it too, in just 2 days. 

Today he was looking inside and said we should let it free before it dies. I said, “wait! Just wait! Let me look up more info on it to learn the best way to care for it.”

“Mom! It’s going to die! Let’s let it go.”

“Hold on. I’m looking into it.”

Elijah shouts,”mom! I could tell it’s about to die, I can see it in his eyes.”

Seconds pass and he comes running towards me with the liZard in his hands and his eyes watery.

“See mom I told you! I saw it coming. We need to give him a funeral. He’s dead! He was such a pretty lizard.”

The kids scramble to give it a proper ceremony. Jazz makes it a tomb stone mumbling how much Elijah loves lizards and we must make a good ceremony and Clarence imitating them. After burying it Elijah comes to me and says,”mom we have to give him a funeral song. Will you play the piano and give him a funeral song?” 

“Of course! I’m sorry love.”

“We have to get everyone here. They all have to listen.”

After the song is over, he grabs a bottle of essential oil and says we should spray the grave like the women did for Jesus. 

I ask, “where’d you bury him anyway?”

“In there!” He points to the zen sand garden that Clarence often plays in while I garden. 

“Love, we have to bury him somewhere else or Clarence will unbury it.”

“But…… Ok, but let me be the one to get him.” He removes the fake flowers and jewels that adorned the grave already and as soon as he lifted the little toy door he placed above the body, the little body moved and scurried out of the sand.

“It’s Alive!” Everyone yells “it’s alive.”

“See my prayers came true! I prayed it would come back one day.” And he beamed looking down at me with a halo surrounding his head from the light of the sun. 

Perseids Dust


I just learned today that meteors are generally the size of a grain of sand traveling at a grand velocity and igniting a flame of bright light when it hits the earths atmosphere that trickles down like dust to earth. 
I am a grain of sand in the grand scheme of the universe, but once I hit you’ll see my light so bright people will ooooh and ahhhhhh at the magnificence of the light. 
No one will no I am the size of a grain of sand,

And it won’t matter because it’s the light that shows, not the body. 

 And the thousands of people around me are the same. 

All shining bright in their own time as the hit the atmosphere. 

And settling into the earth like dust. 

Just dust…

Love is Love 


Love is beautiful 

Love is laughter 

Love is comforting

Love is prickly

Love is safe

Love is painful

Love is growing

Love is vibrant

Love is powerful

Love is hurt

Love is peaceful

Love is security

Love is grounding

Love is manic

Love is a psychosomatic asshole who you love regardless because it’s like heroin in the ups and downs that float you to heaven and drop you face flat into hell 

yet it’s essence is always of goodness even though it’s executed with badness. 

Love is love is love is love.