There was a time I proposed to death
At the front of the wheel looking through darkness, from hopeless darkness.
My consorts stacked beside me
Plath, Poe, and Proust
and I imagined it would be beautiful irony to meet my soon to be betrothed at the wall of an abandoned asylum.
But he did not come easy and with no shining white light.
He abandoned me and I stood staring into a red light that would not flip the switch to green and my cries dwindled before I decided I just needed to go home.
Looking back, I know it was Devine intervention. I imagine it was my two mischievous boys who had different intentions for me and knowingly tied up mr Grimm laughing all the way through the prank,
But I am grateful almost two decades later,
And the illusory wall a reminder at how flawed and naive my soul can be,
Because I forgot and could easily have given up all this beauty unraveling like spools of gold before me towards a land of yellow brick roads, emerald bejeweled cities, and a place where a monkey like me can fly.