Fear

“And I’m afraid of the dark.” Says my four year old.

“Is that ok to be afraid?” I ask.

“Yeah because then I turn on the night light and then I’m not scared anymore.” He says matter of factly.

“It’s that easy?”

“Yes that easy.”

Advertisements

One Love

Elijah comes home from school and tells me two of his friends go to church together, “do you think Halmi (grandma) can take me to church too?”

“I think she’d love to, but your friends go to Catholic Church. Halmi goes to a Christian church.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Hmmm ok maybe not much, that’s a tough question.”

“Well is that kind of racist?”

“No I guess you could call that a little more prejudice than racist, but ah. Ok I’ll take you to whatever church you want to go to.”

Smiles super big.

This boy is always teaching me true justice and equality even beyond what I thought I practiced.

Excerpt “letters in the dark”

Love is sloppy messy beautiful madness.

I wish I could write a fuck You letter to everyone who painted a picture otherwise.

Why take out the angst and pain and have You fear it when that’s the part that makes it real.

And Malice isn’t always a good place.

But it’s a place.

Yet He’s numb because he still believes in fairy tales.

Pause

A sweet moment in the between times of falling in love and falling apart where action is subdued and one could hear the buzzing fly cutting the dead air humming silence.

The in Between of the inhalation and the exhalation,

That’s the moment you’ll find the treasure you seek that feels like the only thing that ever existed,

And as you exhale it will be gone but the faint memory of the possibilities will remain until you are either driven into madness,

Or surrender to the next breath.

Broken Arrow

I shot down each of my demons

And One by one laid clear my path,

I pulled one with the fletching torn,

As i stood face to face with a monstrous beast.

Without my arms I trembled

Eyes closed and cold sweat crawling zig zags down my cheek.

I died a hundred deaths before I opened my eyes

and saw before me

The beast quivering

eyes closed and beads of sweat.

I touched its shoulder

And the Eyes fluttered Open

My own eyes staring back

Holding a Broken arrow.

I died one hundred deaths

Before I opened my eyes.

Sagittarian Mama, Aquarian Child

Lying in bed with my 3 year old he says, “mommy because….. I love you forever.”

“You know what forever means?”

“Yeah because you’re always with me.”

“I love you forever and ever and ever.” But as I speak I think, well there’s a chance by circumstance I won’t be here forever, realistically thinking. “But Baby, what if I’m not here forever? What if maybe I am sent away one day?”

He stares into my eyes silent for some time. I stare back.

“Well then I will fly up and catch you. Yeah I will fly up and catch you and bring you back down so you will be with me forever.” He speaks with conviction.

“I love you baby Forever and ever!”

Porches

Pure Bliss

Slow mornings

Vanilla steamer

Cappuccino

Ficus Benjamina

Gentle sunlight

“How’s you cup.”

“Mmmmmmm”