I Found My Bodhi Tree

I found my Bodhi Tree 

After class today @balancedlifecenters we had a short discussion about what yoga is. Yoga is not just postures and movement. It is a return to our home, the knowingness of connections and oneness, a return to that place we felt safe to just be without our defense mechanisms up that cause us to grow tight and tense over time physically and calculated and protecting our thoughts mentally. The process of this healing work can often be painful because we are returning back home often by walking through some of our old experiences and pains, but as one student said, “but it leaves us feeling good.” 

We can find yoga in a multitude of ways, Siddhartha found it meditating for 7 days under the bodhi tree which is translated as the tree of enlightenment or awakening. We walk our own path and must find our own path back and some of us are blessed to find the guides that help facilitate that journey, whether it be a guru, child, or even one who might bring out the darkness in us. 

Namaste to this journey of home. 

Musingnude #18 on eight year olds and relationships

I picked Elijah up from school Wednesday and he stood outside of the car looking at me through the window. 

“Hi Elijah! Are you getting in?” 

“Marcus (his best friend) told me he likes Jerilynn now.” 

“Aw, get in the car love. Did that bother you?”  Elijah’s been crushing on Jerilynn all year.”

“No, and…. he told everyone that I like Jerilynn.”

“Aw, did that bother you?”

“Well, no I guess it’s a good thing. I mean, it is the truth and who cares if everyone knows.” I’m completely in awe of how confident my eight year old is. I know I would have been mortified and probably completely deny it, but I contemplate telling him because I don’t want him to question his confidence. 

“Did Jerilynn say anything about it?”

“No, but she just smiled and she still talked to me.”  

When Jose got home from work, I ask Elijah if I can share his story. He nods. Jose is amused. 

I ask Elijah, “so do you want to have a girlfriend?” He’s in third grade and too young. 

“Nah. I’m too young.” Good boy. 

And Jose chimes in,”and having a girlfriend is like having homework.” Elijah cracks up hysterically! 

“That’s so funny! I hate homework.” And we laugh. 

“Wait, are you saying I’m like homework?”

“Well I like homework.” He winks at me smiling. 

The next day I pick Elijah up and he stands staring at me with a smile on his face. “Mom! Everyone wants me to ask Jerilynn to be my girlfriend because they all know I like her.”

“What did you say?”

“I said, ‘having a girlfriend is like having homework.'” Still laughing and smiling. “So Luis said I need to make her my girlfriend and he’ll take care of her because he can cook and clean and that kind of stuff.” I’m cracking up.  

“So what does Jerilynn have to say about all this?” 

“She ran up to me and said hi. I told her to meet me under the tree next Monday.”

“What? Why?”

“Well Marcus is too shy to talk to her and he stalks her so I told him that she will be under the tree and he can go talk to her.”

“That wouldn’t bother you? I thought you liked her.”

“I do like her, but I think he likes her more and I guess I could like Jada and Marcus could have a chance. I don’t want to have a girlfriend. They’re like homework.” He laughs again. He is going to find any excuse to use that line. The rest of the ride home Elijah is singing songs and in a good mood. 

I have no words. This boy amazes me at how mature he is and understanding he is about his friend and also that he feels too young for a relationship, but I’m also asking myself how I’m going to parent from here on out when kids are already talking about relationships. Smh

Freckles

Clarence stared intently at my face and smiled, “mom! You have so many moles on your face.” Waving his hands in front of my face. 

A boy told me that once in junior high school and said he wanted to play connect the dots. 

“Do you think it looks funny?” I ask.

“No.” He stared quietly, “I think it looks beautiful.” 

Pyramids

Egyptians, Mayans, Aztecs, 

Ancient civilizations,

Building perfect pyramids

As a collective 

Sacred and divine,

And we the evolved

Now call ruins.

 We have revolved,

Struggling to rebuild our own temple,

Born perfect,

On our own

Ruined,

What was sacred and divine. 

Generator, Operator, Destructor

Me and my bean, we’ve seen things.

We’ve stared into each of our eyes so intently that we’ve seen God.

We do this for minutes and he doesn’t turn away.

I don’t turn away.

We just stare until our hairs rise and we giggle

Because I helped create him and he helped resurrect me. 

When I hum and he hums we breathe in the same things and we mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Until we smile because it feels good to be one sound.

And when he’s tired he curls up like a little bean, legs and arms tucked right on my lap with his ear by my chest,

I wrap my arms around him until our heart beats the same again and we return home,

Both of us a whisper who haunts gods dreams and lure him to play king of the forest,

Until we open our eyes and forget 

and 

repeat.

Bird Song

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Bird Song

Morning light and sweet treats,

Expanding wings in clear dreams 

Deep breath into floating feet,

Water flowing through my soul with ease. 

Moving to my birds songs

Mornings light 

Sweet treats

Clear dreams 

Soul at ease  

Flight in feet.
Weekend schedule:

@balancedlifecenters Saturday gentle yoga at 9:00 am

@oliveyogalb Subbing Sunday 8:00 am yin yang yoga and 10:00 am prana flow 

Pea Love

Pea Love

Afternoon pickup 

I groan.

“Why you hurting mama?”

“I’m bleeding son.”

“Where’s the blood,”

“Where I’d pee.” I speak bluntly.

Boy eyes wide I explain.

“You know our chickens lay eggs each day?

Mama lays eggs each month, but it’s just a speck a dust.

It’s cuz I can make babies. 

You were the size of a pea when I first saw you,”

Eyes even wider with amazement. 

“That’s crazy! And baby brother was a pea too?”

“And I was once a pea too.”

We both smile probably pondering the same thing. 

Before bed.

He tosses and turns. 

“Go to bed son.”

He huffs and sighs.

“I am much like you little boo.”

“Uh huh” he says annoyed.

“Yeah I was afraid of the dark, monsters,

Ghosts, shadows, lights….

I used to bundle up inside my blanket where they couldn’t get me until my hands and feet got hot and convinced the monsters they were covered with invisible shields just like my head.”

Excited. “I count to 10 to jump on couches before they can get me.”

“I used to dream of flying and wake up the next day trying to fly.

I felt safe in my mamas bed too.

Mornings I pretended to be sick because I was tired from staying up all night thinking about traveling to other planets and wondered if there was someone exactly like me somewhere else.”

He hugs me tight. 

We both smile excited to find someone like me

eyes wide, 

probably pondering the same thing. 

String Theory

My name echoed from every dimension of each universe,

Ripples rewinding into one defined point as Goddess conceived me into existence whispering my name, 

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah…..”
I am born again and again and again from that dark open space where thoughts form words to be spoken into vibration then into being as she plucks a string again and again whispering my name as a song made of pure sound and the reverberations sliding through the tight particles of each invisible filter of worlds back into that single point of light at the center of my universe. 

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah…”

I did not see, but hear myself born into being,

Perpetually formed. 

The sage priestess sweeping gold dust and broken glass from the remnants of a shattered hour glass onto a dustpan while guiding me to float in between the panes of universes to experience my creation. 
And each time I hear my name called,

“Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah….”

I remember. 

  

 

The Star

The Star

Consistently be the same person with every circle, connection, space, 

Plat•form 

In the hats you pair with the trade you share. 

Be able to trust 

And trust “Love is real,

Real is love.”

Always learning from the foil.

Telekinesis

“Mom, if you meditate a lot, can you move things?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Like move things with your mind.” He puts his hands by his temples and looks at me inquisitively. “Because my dad says if you start moving things with your mind, he wants to see it.” 

I laugh, “why? Did you tell your dad that meditating will teach you to move things with your mind?” I’m having an aha moment because I wondered why Elijah is more open to meditating and chanting than asana. 

“Yeah! And he says he wants to see it if you do. But can you? If you meditate a lot?”

“Well that is one belief and I think anything is possible.” And right at the moment, a huge container truck was slowly turning into a shopping plaza. Elijah was so occupied he didn’t see it and I raise both hands and say, “watch!” And he looks up at the road to see this huge container turning to block the road with the driver cab on the other side of the truck so it looked as if it was floating. His mouth drops and then laughs as the driver becomes visible. 

“Ha. You didn’t do that. It’s a truck!” And he’s still laughing for being fooled for a moment. 

“Yeah, but I wasn’t really trying to move the truck. I was trying to move you to laugh. We can move the heart, and we can move the energy. Are you feeling happier already?”

He laughs a different kind of laugh. “Yes.” He says smiling and content with that.